What's So Bad About Being Emotional, Anyway?

Girls seem more likely to get tagged with that one, it seems.  Maybe girls are more comfortable with expressing how they feel, or maybe it’s because societal norms teach boys that it’s not “cool” or manly to show emotion – unless it’s in the context of a monumental victory or some crushing defeat.  Somehow, we’ve equated emotions, particularly the uncomfortable ones, with weakness.  Apparently, it would be better for us all to go throughout our day with a steely poker face.  For fear of what?  That we’d somehow reveal our humanity, or possibly offend someone who’s not in the same frame of mind? 

Sure, no one likes to hang around a down-in-the-dumps sad sack, or someone who’s constantly cheerleading.  Like the weather, our moods change.  And from what I hear tell, the many mood swings of girls not much older than ours are quite the sight to behold. (wink, wink.)  I’m not there yet with my Girl (or girls!), but believe it to be completely normal for them to have mood and emotional swings as they learn to navigate how they’ll handle their more complex lives.

At this age, some of our Girls have difficulty understanding the difference between a feeling or emotion and a physical condition, like sleepiness or hunger.  They do, however, get the idea that it’s easier – or more comfortable – to express emotions like happiness or anger, than fear or loneliness.  That’s understandable.  We don’t really want to feel those types of emotions anyway.  That doesn’t make them “bad”.  It just makes them more difficult or uncomfortable to express.  And that’s fine, too.  What’s not OK, is keeping those feelings bottled-up inside and being unwilling or uncertain as to how to show how we feel.  There’s no catch-all answer or easy fix for that, and some instances and the emotions they create may require professional help.  But providing a non-judgmental, safe sounding board for our Girls will at the very least give them a place to practice the very healthy habit of letting their emotions take their natural course.  Just listen...